it's 5:30am. i've been up for about a half hour for no valid reason. my alarm isn't supposed to go off for another hour and a half (and again a half hour from that). i've had a lot on my mind the last few days (weeks even) so my lack of sleep right now is not surprising. that doesn't make it any less annoying or inconvenient though.
i just got reintroduced into the fantastic world of graphic novels. i had forgotten how amazing they can be.
my father and i definitely have a love/hate relationship right now. he loves me and i hate him.
ringworm is a bitch. i've learned more than i ever wanted to know about it in the last week or so. fact: ringworm has nothing to do with worms but has everything to do with being AWFUL.
i dislike talking on the phone. i especially dislike having to make phone calls at work mostly for lack of privacy - if i absolutely have to make a personal phone call during the work day, i end up locking myself in the bathroom or going into one of the emergency stairwells. the only person that i feel comfortable having a long conversation with on the phone is my mom.
i just had one of the best birthdays i've had in a long time. spending it with amazing people definitely helped make it that way.
i'm pretty sure i have found one of the last genuinely good guys left in the world.
i hope i don't scare him away.
all this talk of football & seeing back to school (and even halloween!) stuff in stores makes me want to scream. and learn how to stop time.
i have insanely talented friends.
i need to buy new tap shoes soon. breaking those in are going to be a bitch.
i recently learned that my cat snores. it's hilarious.
bruises and aches from The Cyclone rollercoaster out on Coney Island are little reminders days later of how awesome it is. and also of how old i'm getting.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Friday, July 29, 2011
it's ALIVE!
it's 4:25pm on the last Friday of July in 2011. i'm currently sitting in my cubicle at work listening to music and doing a half dozen things that are not work related. i'm bored. i'm antsy. i want to get the fuck out of here and go see the McQueen Exhibit at the Met. so i start to write... something i haven't done in awhile.
just this week I realized that not only is it halfway through the summer but it had been quite some time (almost 7 months) since i typed some of my thoughts into my dear ol' blog. and then i realized i haven't really done much writing at all in the last few months. THEN i remembered i'm lazy and like to watch that black rectangular object in my apartment that shows images & sounds of things that entertain me and that i believe i have adult ADD and i always have to be doing 8 things at once or doing absolutely nothing at all. also, i like to nap.
so is my life.
and here i am.
almost another year older but not so much wiser. my hair is a bit longer. my skin has more ink on it. i'm still not smoking (almost 7 months!), my heart seems to have started to mend, my hearing has probably gotten worse from shows and my butt is definitely a bit bigger (ice cream & i have had real quality time in recent months.) i've had my ups and downs, but all in all, i'm alright.
even though you thought i was gone, i'm not. i'm here.
i just do my own thing sometimes.
and if you know me, then you already know that's just how i am.
just this week I realized that not only is it halfway through the summer but it had been quite some time (almost 7 months) since i typed some of my thoughts into my dear ol' blog. and then i realized i haven't really done much writing at all in the last few months. THEN i remembered i'm lazy and like to watch that black rectangular object in my apartment that shows images & sounds of things that entertain me and that i believe i have adult ADD and i always have to be doing 8 things at once or doing absolutely nothing at all. also, i like to nap.
so is my life.
and here i am.
almost another year older but not so much wiser. my hair is a bit longer. my skin has more ink on it. i'm still not smoking (almost 7 months!), my heart seems to have started to mend, my hearing has probably gotten worse from shows and my butt is definitely a bit bigger (ice cream & i have had real quality time in recent months.) i've had my ups and downs, but all in all, i'm alright.
even though you thought i was gone, i'm not. i'm here.
i just do my own thing sometimes.
and if you know me, then you already know that's just how i am.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Picture Day
This past weekend I had the pleasure of being a subject to New York based portrait photographer Bill Wadman and was also given the honor of being his portrait of the day as part of his '365 Project' of 2011.
You can follow his 365 projects on his blog where he also posts his podcast "Circuitous Conversations" or check out his previous work/editions on his website.
You can check out a few other photos he took of me here.
Thank you Bill, for showing that sometimes a tomboy like me can in fact clean up nicely.
(I do not thank you for making me put on makeup though - no matter what the occasion, that's never fun.)
You can follow his 365 projects on his blog where he also posts his podcast "Circuitous Conversations" or check out his previous work/editions on his website.
You can check out a few other photos he took of me here.
Thank you Bill, for showing that sometimes a tomboy like me can in fact clean up nicely.
(I do not thank you for making me put on makeup though - no matter what the occasion, that's never fun.)
Thursday, January 6, 2011
you want resolutions? i'll give you resolutions.
I originally didn't want to make any sort of formal goals this year. I was just going to let the year take its own course without my yearly restrictions or demands. But then I actually thought to myself "wait, some of these things I actually want to do, not just force myself to do because it's the New Year and I want to fix or work on something."
So in no particular order, here are the things that I will attempt to do & work on this year:
1) challenge/push myself more creatively (mainly in writing & performing)
2) see more - as in see more of my friends, see more live music, more off-off broadway shows, more Art in general, more of Brooklyn.
3) save more money. not for something specific but just to put aside.
4) 'experiment' more with cooking. friends of mine will know exactly what I mean by experiment.
5) NO MORE CIGARETTES! - I'll need all the support I can get with this one, people.
ok, the next 2 are a bit more extreme, 'high unlikely to happen' goals but I want to throw them out there:
6) get a job with 'Late Night with Jimmy Fallon'.
I'll give you all a moment to stop laughing before I continue.
7) find an occasion where I can re-meet Tina Fey and tell her the following things:
*Since she won't have the slightest idea who I am, I would first explain that I was an intern on SNL during the 2001-2002 season when she was the head writer. Hence the re-meeting.
* even though we probably always messed up all of her lunch & dinner orders & would run around the city aimlessly for any sort of prop &/or graphics for update the writers could imagine, I would thank her for always being so nice to all of the interns in the writing & research department.
*please don't ever stop making 30 rock. EVER.
*please don't ever stop being you. you are amazing.
I had a few more but let's not go crazy.
Alright. I'll see you all back here next year, if I make it through this one alive.
So in no particular order, here are the things that I will attempt to do & work on this year:
1) challenge/push myself more creatively (mainly in writing & performing)
2) see more - as in see more of my friends, see more live music, more off-off broadway shows, more Art in general, more of Brooklyn.
3) save more money. not for something specific but just to put aside.
4) 'experiment' more with cooking. friends of mine will know exactly what I mean by experiment.
5) NO MORE CIGARETTES! - I'll need all the support I can get with this one, people.
ok, the next 2 are a bit more extreme, 'high unlikely to happen' goals but I want to throw them out there:
6) get a job with 'Late Night with Jimmy Fallon'.
I'll give you all a moment to stop laughing before I continue.
7) find an occasion where I can re-meet Tina Fey and tell her the following things:
*Since she won't have the slightest idea who I am, I would first explain that I was an intern on SNL during the 2001-2002 season when she was the head writer. Hence the re-meeting.
* even though we probably always messed up all of her lunch & dinner orders & would run around the city aimlessly for any sort of prop &/or graphics for update the writers could imagine, I would thank her for always being so nice to all of the interns in the writing & research department.
*please don't ever stop making 30 rock. EVER.
*please don't ever stop being you. you are amazing.
I had a few more but let's not go crazy.
Alright. I'll see you all back here next year, if I make it through this one alive.
Friday, December 24, 2010
Merry Rockin' Christmas!
Have you:
not gotten many Christmas/Holiday cards this year?
never witnessed me rockin' out at karaoke?
ever wondered what I would look like with crazy curly blond hair?
Well then, this is my Christmas present to you.
Happy Holidays.
not gotten many Christmas/Holiday cards this year?
never witnessed me rockin' out at karaoke?
ever wondered what I would look like with crazy curly blond hair?
Well then, this is my Christmas present to you.
Happy Holidays.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
The best Christmas gift
Many, if not most of you who will read this, know me and this story. What you might not know is how doing this has made me see the Holiday season a little differently, with a brighter light.
Last year I wrote this entry right before Christmas. I performed a revised version of the play that is posted at the end of that entry in a workshop this past summer - you can see it here (it starts at roughly 9:15 in. also, I'm not mic'ed so make sure you turn it up.) You should watch the play right after that too because I wrote that as well and it's GOOD. it DAMN GOOD :)
ok, enough exploiting myself.
wait, this is my blog. I can do whatever the hell I want here.
so there.
Ok, did you read it? Are you all caught up now? Good.
I have only seen my Mom once since she has moved back out there since she can not leave my Grandma alone for an extended length of time and due to my a number of things (my job, lack of money, everything else in my life) I have not been able to go out to see them. I do spend time with my Dad (I live in Brooklyn, NY & he lives in Westchester County, NY so it's close enough that we can visit) during the holidays and I still talk to my Mom frequently but it's not the same. I miss her.
This year, I decided to give my Mom & Grandma the best Christmas present (and most expensive gift I've ever bought) I could think of - me. I bought a round trip plane ticket to go see them in February (flights are really expensive during the holidays & I wouldn't have been able to spend as much time with them if I went now.) I wish it was going to be a surprise but I, couldn't keep it a secret from them - plus, I need someone to pick me up from the airport :) They are so excited & even though I won't see them during the actual holidays, we will make those few days in February Christmas again.
Linus was right: Happiness, Joy & giving to others is what Christmas is all about.
I think it is safe to say that at the age of 30, I may have finally grown up.
Last year I wrote this entry right before Christmas. I performed a revised version of the play that is posted at the end of that entry in a workshop this past summer - you can see it here (it starts at roughly 9:15 in. also, I'm not mic'ed so make sure you turn it up.) You should watch the play right after that too because I wrote that as well and it's GOOD. it DAMN GOOD :)
ok, enough exploiting myself.
wait, this is my blog. I can do whatever the hell I want here.
so there.
Ok, did you read it? Are you all caught up now? Good.
I have only seen my Mom once since she has moved back out there since she can not leave my Grandma alone for an extended length of time and due to my a number of things (my job, lack of money, everything else in my life) I have not been able to go out to see them. I do spend time with my Dad (I live in Brooklyn, NY & he lives in Westchester County, NY so it's close enough that we can visit) during the holidays and I still talk to my Mom frequently but it's not the same. I miss her.
This year, I decided to give my Mom & Grandma the best Christmas present (and most expensive gift I've ever bought) I could think of - me. I bought a round trip plane ticket to go see them in February (flights are really expensive during the holidays & I wouldn't have been able to spend as much time with them if I went now.) I wish it was going to be a surprise but I, couldn't keep it a secret from them - plus, I need someone to pick me up from the airport :) They are so excited & even though I won't see them during the actual holidays, we will make those few days in February Christmas again.
Linus was right: Happiness, Joy & giving to others is what Christmas is all about.
I think it is safe to say that at the age of 30, I may have finally grown up.
Friday, November 19, 2010
my happy place
Last Saturday marked my 25th time (yes that says 2-5) seeing my most favorite band, Dave Matthews Band. They have played a very important part in my life over the last 16 years and it started with the 1st time I saw the video for "What Would You Say? on MTV (when they still played those things) my freshman year of high school. I will never forget that moment. I immediately thought (and might have said out loud at that moment) "Wow. This band is different. This song sounds amazing." I was in awe that a band with such a different sound was on MTV. Except for maybe the occasional Stone Temple Pilots or Nirvana song, if it wasn't rap, hip hop or something extremely popular (all things I didn't very much enjoy) it meant MTV didn't show it. After finding out that they not only had a saxophone player but also a violin player, I became even more intrigued with this band.
I think what officially cemented me as a fan was the first time I heard Boyd's violin solo in "Ants Marching" - not only because it was getting airtime on the radio but mainly because it FUCKING ROCKED. I remember thinking "HOLY CRAP! There's a violin solo in this song and it kicks ass AND it's being played on a major market radio station!" I had never heard someone play violin like that and I was hooked. I was so amazed that I began playing the violin and played throughout High School. I think we can officially say that is when the obsession began.
Seeing them live is an entirely different beast. In general, I love music and one of my favorite things in the world is hearing live music. I definitely have moments where I would rather listen to a studio version of a song over a live version but nothing really is better than a live show. The energy & emotion that you see, hear & feel is something that needs to be bottled & sold.... I believe I just created the solution that will help save the economy.
My first time seeing them live wasn't until college. Seeing them live is an experience in and of itself. Now I've had my fun at some shows (drinking and/or smoking some mind-altering things) but I can honestly say that I've been to more DMB shows sober and still always have the time of my life. Just seeing them play gets me high (and I mean more than that contact high I'm getting from that joint being passed around behind me.) I always walk away with a smile on my face & an amazing few hours of music to store away in my head. I've gone to see DMB with many different people over the years and I always give them fair warning that I will be the person standing the whole time, dancing, playing air guitar, singing along to every song - I'll pretty much be in my own world. I truly wish I could duplicate the feeling I have when I see them live. I get goosebumps when I just listen to their music on my ipod so you can imagine that I am in my euphoric mecca when I see them come onto the stage.
This past Saturday's show was no different. I had an amazing 3 hours of pure happiness & excitement but something really special happened though. Something really hit me that night. It was one of the best shows I have seen of theirs (and I have a lot of them to compare it to) but not just solely for what songs they played (they are notorious for never playing the same setlists) but for what they, as truly great artists and actual human beings can do and will do for their fans.
Dave was extremely hoarse from the start of the show. He mentioned early on that he woke up not feeling well and that he hoped we still would have a great time and that he will try his best for us. The band goes on to play for almost 3 hours, with the audience singing some songs almost karaoke/sing a-long style since Dave can not hit some notes. He continues to thank us for our 'help' and 'voices' throughout the night & is even playful at some points - his voice cracked at the beginning of a song, makes mention of his screw up through a improv scat & then goes right back into the original song.
Listening back on some of Saturday's tracks online, I can hear that Dave sounds much worse than I originally heard (probably because I was singing most of the time myself) but he is close to losing his voice as it cracks and gives out on him throughout. Yet, the band played for ALMOST 3 HOURS. and the band seemed to love every minute of it. They knew they had a show to do for a sold out crowd filled with fans like myself. It's like they kept feeding off our energy & excitement and love. It made me realize that they truly do appreciate us and do all the touring, all the shows for us, the fans. They just kept on going and going. I bet if Dave felt better and the garden didn't have a time limit for shows, they would've played until after midnight. It truly was an experience that will stay with me for quite sometime.
With this show fresh in my mind and after having a conversation with a friend about where & how many times I've seen them, I decided to make a list. Sure you can call me crazy, but honestly, this is my happy list.
Happiness to me is... or proof of my craziness
I think what officially cemented me as a fan was the first time I heard Boyd's violin solo in "Ants Marching" - not only because it was getting airtime on the radio but mainly because it FUCKING ROCKED. I remember thinking "HOLY CRAP! There's a violin solo in this song and it kicks ass AND it's being played on a major market radio station!" I had never heard someone play violin like that and I was hooked. I was so amazed that I began playing the violin and played throughout High School. I think we can officially say that is when the obsession began.
Seeing them live is an entirely different beast. In general, I love music and one of my favorite things in the world is hearing live music. I definitely have moments where I would rather listen to a studio version of a song over a live version but nothing really is better than a live show. The energy & emotion that you see, hear & feel is something that needs to be bottled & sold.... I believe I just created the solution that will help save the economy.
My first time seeing them live wasn't until college. Seeing them live is an experience in and of itself. Now I've had my fun at some shows (drinking and/or smoking some mind-altering things) but I can honestly say that I've been to more DMB shows sober and still always have the time of my life. Just seeing them play gets me high (and I mean more than that contact high I'm getting from that joint being passed around behind me.) I always walk away with a smile on my face & an amazing few hours of music to store away in my head. I've gone to see DMB with many different people over the years and I always give them fair warning that I will be the person standing the whole time, dancing, playing air guitar, singing along to every song - I'll pretty much be in my own world. I truly wish I could duplicate the feeling I have when I see them live. I get goosebumps when I just listen to their music on my ipod so you can imagine that I am in my euphoric mecca when I see them come onto the stage.
This past Saturday's show was no different. I had an amazing 3 hours of pure happiness & excitement but something really special happened though. Something really hit me that night. It was one of the best shows I have seen of theirs (and I have a lot of them to compare it to) but not just solely for what songs they played (they are notorious for never playing the same setlists) but for what they, as truly great artists and actual human beings can do and will do for their fans.
Dave was extremely hoarse from the start of the show. He mentioned early on that he woke up not feeling well and that he hoped we still would have a great time and that he will try his best for us. The band goes on to play for almost 3 hours, with the audience singing some songs almost karaoke/sing a-long style since Dave can not hit some notes. He continues to thank us for our 'help' and 'voices' throughout the night & is even playful at some points - his voice cracked at the beginning of a song, makes mention of his screw up through a improv scat & then goes right back into the original song.
Listening back on some of Saturday's tracks online, I can hear that Dave sounds much worse than I originally heard (probably because I was singing most of the time myself) but he is close to losing his voice as it cracks and gives out on him throughout. Yet, the band played for ALMOST 3 HOURS. and the band seemed to love every minute of it. They knew they had a show to do for a sold out crowd filled with fans like myself. It's like they kept feeding off our energy & excitement and love. It made me realize that they truly do appreciate us and do all the touring, all the shows for us, the fans. They just kept on going and going. I bet if Dave felt better and the garden didn't have a time limit for shows, they would've played until after midnight. It truly was an experience that will stay with me for quite sometime.
With this show fresh in my mind and after having a conversation with a friend about where & how many times I've seen them, I decided to make a list. Sure you can call me crazy, but honestly, this is my happy list.
Happiness to me is... or proof of my craziness
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