Thursday, October 7, 2010

a four letter word that starts with "F"

In the last few weeks, the word 'fear' has taken a more front & center seat in my life. The reason for this is because I'm in this wonderfully amazing show called (un)afraid with the New York Neo-Futurists. The show is about fear but I will reference the amazing creators of this show as they have explained it a bit more elegantly than I: "(un)afraid is an exploration of the concept, causes and consequences of our greatest fears, individually and as a society." Each show Jill, Dan, Cara & Ricky will explain, embrace & confront main different types of fear and I applaud them for what they are doing. Fear, especially personal fear, is not an easy thing to grasp or wrangle or even talk about to & with others.

Fear is a pretty power word and emotion. At some point (or at several hundred) in our lives, we have felt it, possibly faced it or dealt with it, ran away from it and maybe even just laughed in its face.

I don't easily get scared, save for the occasional startle or random unknown occurrence, but I consider that exactly as that: being scared. Fear is much more powerful. When someone fears something, that person has a much deeper emotional attachment to whatever it is they fear. Fears are much to be based on belief. You can not tell a person their fears are unwarranted, much like you can not tell a person that there is no Santa Claus or Heaven or Loch Ness monster. There are common and shared fears in our nation and throughout the world, but fears are always personal, almost private in a way. Because of this, I don't believe fears are easily overcome because most stem from an experience/setting/person that triggers that part of your soul. That moment, that trigger, is what stays with you and keeps you believing in that fear - that harm or ill-will or death or whatever will come your way from that someone or something they fear. Because of this, people don't ever want to face or challenge them because THAT to a fearful person is worse than death. And that is why fears will always be with us. That's is what keeps fear alive.

I don't fear many things - just the usual fears of failure, embarrassment & humiliation, a slight fear of drowning, a much stronger fear for reality television and a fear of anything that the ghostbusters can't kill. But these 'fears' I have, except for the ghostbusters one, I consider to be more like obstacles and self-improvement type things that I could maybe work on and overcome. Maybe. They aren't truly things I fear (well the drowning one I sort of do) I just get frightened, scared of or just find completely intolerable.

I think the one thing I truly fear is people. Just like fear, people are unpredictable and unknowing. You never know what they will do or say or not do or not say. People can hurt you, physically, mentally & emotionally. Most people can't be trusted. Look at the state of our world. Yes, there are good people and good things being done & said but I can't help but dwell on the recent horrific events resulting in all the suicides & bullying all because of people's sexual orientation. or the fact that 2 guys starting fighting over their dogs and one stabbed the other to death. or that people abuse animals and eldery & throw babies in trash cans. Those are people I fear. Because these are the people I have share the planet with.

Fear. It's just like people. You n ever know what will be just around that corner...

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