Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Another day, Another play

So I had planned on writing a real blog entry this evening.... yeah, well that didn't happen but I did find a play I wrote last year. I not only really like the final outcome, but had fun writing it.
It sort of sums up the status of (and present lack there of) my relationships and how random some can be & how strangely we can be thrown into them.

Plus it's a blog entry. A sort of cop out blog entry, but deal with it.
I'm a busy lady people.


“Conducting an Experiment, Neo Futurist-style or Are you my soul mate?”

2 Neos, in Lab coats with googles sitting on their heads, enter.
1 of the Neos brings an audience member on stage to sit in a chair DSR and Neos stand on either side of audience member.

N1: As you might have already noticed, we, the NY neo-futurists, like to experiment.
N2: And not just at home with our 4th grade failed science projects…
N1: But we like to experiment on stage with our plays, with you….
N2: We also like to solve problems.
N1: And right now, we would like to experiment on helping to solve a problem of a friend.
(Nicole walks on stage, sits USL and puts on headphones w/ipod)
N1: That is Nicole. She is 29, single & according to her grandmother “letting her prime years go to waste.”
N2: She, like many others in this fine city, is looking for her soul mate, that special someone…
N1: She has compiled this list of questions to ask you, “name tag”. She has answered them already and we will compare your answers to hers, compute the results and see if you are compatible. (holds up clipboard with questions on it)
N2: you could possibly be destined to be together, like soul mates!
N1: Are you ready, “name tag”?
(Audience Member hopefully answers Yes. N2 goes to spiny door with chart on it to check off “name tag’s” answers. *Nicole’s answers are posted already on the other side.)
N1: Great. Let's begin.

State your full name, age & city of residence.
Please answer the following questions with a YES or NO answer:

Are you single?
Do you want to be single?
Do you have a job?
Do you enjoy what you do?
Have you ever had a deadly disease?
Do you think you have a deadly disease at this moment?
Do you know anyone who has been exposed to or has the H1N1 virus (the swine flu)?
Can you recite the alphabet backwards easily?
Do you cook?
Can you cook?
Do you like cookies?
Do you like animal crackers?
Do you think animal crackers are actually crackers?
Do you like animals?
Do you have any?
(Name them.)
Do you think people should dress their pets up?
If I played 10 seconds of a popular song from the 80s, do you think you could name the title, artist & year it was released?
Do you balance your checkbook regularly?
If you had to leave town immediately, never to return, and could only bring with you what you had on your person, could you do it?
Currently, what is your favorite TV show?
Do you feel like you watch too much TV?
Do you agree with this statement: All past & present reality tv show stars should all be gathered together, brought to the LOST island & left there until j.j. Abrams finds an entertaining way to rid the world of them that will be televised like the MJ memorial.
Can you name the starting lineup (including positions) from the NY Yankees’ game last night?
Have you ever been in love?
Do you love someone at this current moment?
Do they love you back?
Are you happy with your life at this current moment?
Are you sick of answering these questions?
Do you want to punch the person asking you these questions in the face?
Do you wish that you were the one asking the questions?
Do you have a question?
*if they do ask a question, no one answers, but Neo quickly says:

N1: This concludes the Q&A. We will be right back with the results.

N1 goes to the spiny door chart with N2 & compare answers and decide, based on the percentage of same answers from each, whether they are soul mates.

Nicole, not paying attention during the whole play, sees ‘nametag’ across the stage, takes off headphones/ipod, goes up to ‘nametag’ and sits in his lap, and asks ‘are you my soul mate?’




  1. Jeffrey Cranor, 34, Brooklyn

    Y, N, Y, Y, N, N, Y, Y, N, Y, Y!, Y, N, Y, Y (Simone & Mi-nous (cats)), Y, N, N, N, Chopped (Food Network), N, Y, N, Y, Y, Y, Y, N, N, N, How are you doing today?

  2. Jeffrey Cranor, i don't think your WIFE would approve of your answer "YES' to the 1st question. Unless of course you meant it solely in that you are a singular person... then she could not object.

    upon careful calculations & much deliberation, we are 66.7% soul mates. That is a fairly good percentage, but I must factor in that you are a cowboys & non-ny yankee fan so in fact our percentage drops significantly to 3%. We can still be friends though :)