The new year started out on a positive note and felt like things were going well. Unfortunately, I found myself right back where I didn't want to be by the time February rolled around. It felt like I got thrown back to the beginning and was told "sorry. you lose. try again." February was a hard month for me for several reasons, and I was probably my own worst enemy. I had my heartbroken, I wasn't writing, I stopped going out as much & being social. I wasn't feeling terribly confident about anything, especially myself.
I usually do not care for Spring. I enjoy the fact that when Spring arrives it means Winter isn't coming back for at least 6-7 months. Aside from that, Spring is hell for allergy sufferers like myself and unlike Shirley Manson, I'm not happy when it rains - I've never been a fan of all the rain that comes with Spring (and the Northeast certainly got our more than our share this year). I've always been a summer girl and honestly, I've always just wanted summer to get here.
This year Spring may just have been the thing I needed.
Maybe it's because I made a lot of plans and kept myself busy in March. Maybe it's because it's been filled with great friends, good fun & late nights - I truly have some of the most amazing friends who knock sense into me when I need it & really listen when I need that even more - I don't know what I would do without each & every one of you. Maybe it's because I put my performing shoes back on for the 1st time in years and I didn't do nearly as bad as I thought I would. Maybe it's because my half sleeve is finally finished and I am so fucking happy with the way it came out:
Maybe I'm excited for my upcoming move back to Brooklyn, which is very needed & long overdue. Maybe it's because I started doing Yoga again. Maybe it's because things just seen to be falling slowly into place for me instead of the typical crashing into pieces. Maybe it's because I'm finally doing things I care about, enjoy and want to add into my life. Maybe it's because I started realizing that I need to start doing things for me and take time out for me.
Maybe I'm beginning to see that Spring isn't so bad - it's not always rainy.
It can't rain all the time.