recent happenings & random thoughts

It's been awhile (not that i think anyone noticed but me). I couldn't really think of one particular topic so I decided to just rant about what's been going on in the life of me:

I moved!
Let me say that again.
I MOVED!
It's over - all the packing, moving, cleaning, worrying, sweating, not sleeping, driving, and unpacking is done. I THANK WHOEVER IT IS YOU PRAY TO. I have some art & pictures I want to hang/get shelving for. Now I just need some decorating guidance and someone who tall & can hang things that aren't crooked.

The last 6 weeks have been a mix of making a lot of decisions, organizing amidst disorganization, saying goodbye & 'see you soon', saying hello to NYC & HELLO BROOKLYN! I am already in love with my neighborhood. I can't wait to get out and explore it more.

I've been in my new apartment for over 2 weeks and except for a trip to the Grand Army Plaza farmer's market & a bodega stop for milk, I have yet to go to an actual grocery store. I'm beginning to think that they only exist in suburbia.

Interns make my life both easier & a living hell. The one that wears too much cologne DEFINITELY does the latter. Also, 85% of interns are weird. I mean most of us were interns somewhere once & I guess because your lack of knowledge of a given place or job doesn't make you A #1 but I don't remember being weird at my internships. And they aren't like psychotic killer clowns wierd, but just strange. And for some reason, they are attracted to interning for the Registrar Dept. of the Paley Center.

I need to get my ass back into Yoga. NO EXCUSES. Seriously, my mom got me a yoga mat. I REALLY have no excuses.

In the last 2 months, I have bought about a half dozen dresses. And I've actually worn some of them. In public. I know, that's SHOCKING.

I'm not ashamed to admit that one of my new favorite shows on right now is So You Think You Can Dance. It's one of the few (if only) reality shows I will watch because it actually does search for the best & most diverse dancers. It also exposes people/audience viewers to new styles of dance that they might not have seen or known about. Watching it makes me want to dance again.

It doesn't matter how much I clean, do laundry or just plain attempt to avoid it, I will always have cat hair on every article of clothing I own.

The World Cup is known as "the world's largest sporting event" - how did the Olympics miss out on that title?

I really really REALLY can not stand subway riders who do not let people get off the train before boarding. It's like they HAVE TO get on the train in case they may miss it. The train does not leave INSTANTLY - the conductor knows people need to get on & off. How can you not step aside for 5 seconds? It's rude & shows no respect for others.

I have had this growing desire for ice cream that has been going on for about 3 weeks. You're probably thinking "So why don't you go to the store and get some, Nicole?" but a) as I mentioned above, I haven't been there yet and more importantly b)I don't just want any ice cream - I want the Bea Arthur from the Big Gay Ice Cream Truck. I've heard amazing things about this truck & it's deliciousness. I just know once I have this amazing slice of heaven, my mind might be blown (or at least I'll get a brain freeze) but I keep missing the damn truck where ever he might be on a given day!

I want to do something amazing on my birthday this year. It's on a Thursday & the only request I have is that it has to involve the 1980s. Don't worry, you're all invited (all 7 of you that follow this blog). Suggestions of places or things to do are welcome, preferably in NYC. It's in less than 2 months!

beware the Ides of March

Holy Shit it's March already? When did that happen?!? I've been so distracted lately. What? You haven't been glued to the TV for the last 2 weeks watching endless hours of Olympic coverage of sports you didn't even know existed? Oh, well at least I can use the fact that the Northeast has turned into the North Pole in recent weeks or February is the shortest month of the year as excuses too... oh, that doesn't count either? Shit. I'm out of excuses. Seriously though, lately I've been a combination of a procrastinating space cadet/busy bee with a dash of karaoke rockstar in there.

Well, this month did fly by. People coming, going, changing, creating, laughing, reacting, crying, playing, loving. Here are the interesting things I learned/observed/discovered/felt over the course of the past month:

i've been slacking on my new year's goals. i probably sound like a broken record: "i started out SO STRONG! i don't know what happened!!"... actually i do know what happened - LIFE happened. every fucking day LIFE happened. i'm not going to give excuses about my lack of blog entries, my feeble attempts to get through reading 1 book in 2 months or even for the escalation in my smoking. Nope, no excuses. Because it, the craptastic life i try to lead, just happens. In more positive news, I have found that I am drinking more water & I have rediscovered my love for Yoga (which wasn't on my orginial list of goals & I had unconsciously neglected for several months). if i can give you one piece of advice - never doubt the power of yoga.
this is what i have to say about my goals: I'M WORKING ON IT!

winter needs to over now. I'm sorry was I not clear? i mean like RIGHT FUCKING NOW. no more cold wintry snow, rain or ice storms or temperatures that will make your appendages feel numb after 5 minutes of being outside. i'm sick of seeing white. Bring on that extra hour of daylight, all the endless colors beginning to reappear, opening day at Yankee Stadium, the bright warm sun not masked by clouds or rain or snow, growth and change and new starts. yeah i need all of that.

i find it somewhat ironic & also slightly alarming that my possibility of moving in the next few months is the sole thing that is helping me keep things together. (more on this in possible future blogs)

I've recently reconnected with the unpleasant experience of being nervous. Nervousness is in my top 5 of "I'd rather be mauled by a bear than feel this way" list - it's sandwiched right between between heartache & anger.

i believe because i haven't been home much recently, i think my cats are angry/pissed off/irritated with me. until i feed them or pet them at least.

i will never understand people who go to concerts, shows, games etc and leave early. it just boggles my mind that you would go out of your way to attend something and then not want to stay and enjoy it in its entirety. i understand there are emergencies & things of that sort, but if you just are leaving to leave, then why did you bother to come in the first place?

currently, as in right now, i have a LOT of things to do. i know because i wrote them down on my to do list yet i am doing none of them at this moment. i should get on that.

A penny for my thoughts?

Work has been beating me down like a red-headed stepchild lately and I haven't posted in awhile...If I had more than 10 mins, I could probably write lengthy, detailed entries on all of them but I'm only allowing myself 10 minutes to write this post because I have a billion other things to be doing but especially writing, such as my story for my class on Monday & revising/adding to my proposal.


The things that have been on my mind lately...

I need a change. A change in temperature, a change of clothes, a change of pace, a change of scenery, a change of address, a change in diet - any change will do. A change of seasons would be nice but according to that rodent they claim can see its shadow, that won't be happening anytime soon.


Speaking of scenery, I'm in serious need of a vacation. And I don't mean "take a few days off work to sit in my apartment" vacation, I mean I need get away and forget about my life for a few days. A few friends have been harping on me to get my passport (I do not have one. yea, I know it's weird. want to know more interesting/weird/slightly crazy stuff about me? go here) I really want to go somewhere I've never been before. If I'm getting as much as I think I am from my tax return, I see a possible trip in my future. And if that doesn't happen, I'm adding onto my tattoo.


Since the start of the New Year, I have gone from writing very casually when I have an idea/wave of creativity & mainly for personal reasons to being assigned to write personal stories & presenting them in front of others. Oh, and I've been posting stuff here I NEVER thought I would. I really can't stop and think about it because if I do, I may start having an anxiety attack and quite possibly be sick.


My family is slowly falling apart. And I seem to be the last thread straining to keep it all together. It's a heavy load to bear and I don't want to be the monkey in the middle anymore.


I recently rediscovered the enormous power belting out songs while late night driving can do for your soul. Music never ceases to let me down when I most need it.


My current top 5 things I have a "love/hate relationship with" at the moment, in no particular order: sleeping, therapy, myself, smoking, & my apartment.


No mode of transportation can get you home fast enough when you've just had your heart broken.


I feel stuck. Stuck like gum on the bottom of your shoe? Not exactly. More like when after a snowstorm, you have to go dig your car out of the 18 inches of snow it's covered in and you attempt to push/pry/do anything to get it over the mound of snow the sanitation dept. has so nicely left directly in front of your driveway.... or kind of like when you walk up to your apartment door after a long day at work, & you're rabidly searching for your keys in your bag, only to realize you left them on your kitchen counter this morning and now have no way to get in.... that kind of stuck. Stuck on what? A lot of different things, but I think I mostly feel like I'm stuck in cruise control & there's no one really paying attention to the directions or cares to take the wheel - so I just keep going.


I feel like I'm missing something... or possibly, everything.